The Challenge Of Self Care

It’s somewhat of an oxymoron to think of self care as challenging. 

Thoughts of bubble baths, a hot steaming cup of tea while reading a book at a peaceful window seat and spa treatments come to mind when the words “self care” are mentioned.

The real secret behind self care is that it’s the simple stuff. Drinking enough water to stay hydrated, getting enough sleep, eating the right foods, getting exercise to get your heart rate up and deep breaths happening. However, the idea of what is “enough” and “right” is different for everyone. I mean, there's a general range but we all are dealing with an extensive number of obstacles from overriding health issues to time constraints and obligations to those we care for on a regular basis. We have other things to prioritize before ourselves. Or so it seems.

The truth is, there is an endless list of to do’s that will NEVER GO AWAY. Sure, we will cross things off the list but it will also continually grow as things we forgot about are added. Things we think to do in the middle of the night that get written down in the morning. Thoughtful gestures to make us feel like good mom’s, partners and friends. There’s always something to clean or organize, to get rid of or need to go buy to feel like we are making progress or bettering our lives or our homes. Ugh, when does it stop? IT doesn’t. So you have to choose to make it stop. That’s what real self care is.

To pause for a breath… or 3 deep breaths. To lay down on the ground or roll out a yoga mat and just move your body around on the floor for 10 min and feel what is going on in that body of yours. To slow down when you eat and create a ritual around your food consumption for better digestion and to bring your full presence to what you are eating and your food choices. Then you can begin to stretch it into therapy sessions, dance classes, an all day hike with a picnic and more.

I believe life is a sacred experience. There often seems to be something distracting me from sinking into this. Trying to speed me up or move me onto the next thing. I drive fast and I love feeling productive and helpful to others. Though I notice that when I’m rushing around, it’s easy to forget about my own needs. To drink water and slow down to take in the things that have the potential to sustain me on a daily basis.

I live very close to the beach and walking distance to hiking trails in nature so it could be really easy to nurture myself in these places. For some reason, it’s a rare occasion. 

When I do start to get on a roll, I notice I feel guilty for taking time for myself. Like I’m not doing enough for others or “how dare I when there’s so much that needs to be done”. When I implement what I call, “to have it so good I can barely stand it,” I’m immersing myself regularly in the places and things that fill my cup and infuse me with energy and joy. I put time in my schedule to do these things specifically and not schedule “more important things” over them or make a plan with a friend so there is accountability. I am the one who needs to make it a priority. I need to stop letting all the other things take all my energy and time because I know… that when I am taking care of myself (ie. self care) I am more present and efficient, make less mistakes and better decisions, enjoy my life more and have MORE to give to others because I feel sooooo gooood! What a trade off!

The trouble is, I can’t always convince myself of this. I just have to know it and do it. And I ask myself, “can I love myself enough to give the time to myself?” I notice there is a part of me that derives my value and worth from my productivity. I have to dismiss that voice and take time to take care of myself. I understand this is essential for my happiness and health… overall.

If you’re interested in getting some coaching, guidance, or support with conversations and ideas like these, consider booking a complimentary 30 min session with me! I’d love to hear what you’re up to and maybe some of what you’re challenged by or struggling with lately.