So Easily Distracted

I really love being present with my body. In a yoga or pilates class, doing breathwork, getting a massage or acupuncture, soaking in hot water and feeling my tension melt away, meditating and doing a full body scan in the process. 

Time slows down. I sense my blood pumping, my breath flowing in and out. I can feel places where I am holding on so tightly that I had not realized I was doing so.

Traveling and backpacking help me to do the same. To be present for what is before me. No urgency or rushing. Smiling at the beauty and synchronistic ways everything just… happens. One thing leads to the next. I’m not following a list. A broader map had me instinctually making choices about how to get where I’m going next. There are many pauses where I soak in my surroundings, basking in the place I have found myself. Exploring the environment around me and experiencing things through my senses in a kind of hyper aware state. 

In my daily life, I find it takes more effort to slow down and be present. There is always something that needs to get done or be addressed it seems. It’s not so much the task that feels daunting, but the need to hurry and rush through the task so that I can get to the next thing. Because it feels like time is going to run out and I won’t get it all done if I stop to do something that wasn’t in the plan for only so many hours in the day.

I don’t know if anyone else has this experience but it does seem like we admonish ourselves often for not having “enough” time to do all things we would like to. Or, for forgetting to do important things that lead to consequences we curse ourselves for later. 

How do things slip through the cracks when they ARE important to us?

What causes the constant distraction that binds us to feelings of overwhelm and anxiousness?

I remember being late to school fairly often. Things took longer than I gave time for and I would forget things I needed until the last minute as we were going out the door. I believe it was this habit or consistent way of being in my youth and childhood that led to the comfort I feel when in a state of urgency today. It’s familiar and it’s in my bones. Even though I’ve decided that it feels much better for my nervous system and overall well being NOT to be in a hurry. That arriving early, preparing ahead of time and pacing myself is a far more appealing experience, there seems to be an unconscious magnet that draws me into those old habits and ways of being over and over again.

What I’m realizing is that I could admonish and berate myself for my shortcomings that are so familiar they hurt. When I do that, I feel the experience of it get thick around me, I feel myself sink into a type of subtle self loathing where I find there is an unconscious voice that takes over saying I don’t deserve anything good and perhaps deserve some kind of punishment instead.

This leads me to make choices in alignment with that voice, to push myself beyond what’s healthy for me. To skip meals or stay up late working. To deprive myself of self care and to try to make up for my lack of self worth by over giving to others. Somewhere inside, I’m looking for approval, atonement and acceptance of myself. Because something is telling me, I’m bad and need to make up for what I’ve done.

The second choice is to let it go. To be responsible for my mistakes (we all make them by the way) and to be gentle with myself in my internal dialogue. To encourage myself that I can do better next time. To set myself up for success by taking things out of my schedule and not to continually overcommit myself to so many things. I can look at the bigger picture and decide over the course of a week or a month or a year, how much I can do, give, and promise myself to without burning myself out trying to do it all. Which eventually leads to letting others and myself down in the process. This can take time so it’s important to mark your progress and track your wins. Somehow the setbacks stand out with more prevalence by default. It takes effort for most of us to acknowledge what we are doing well and give ourselves credit for how much we ARE successful at, on a regular basis.

Now what constitutes success is a whole other conversation. But if we bring it back to what it takes to be present with your life, your environment, the people around you, your own body, that’s where fulfillment lies. Can we stay there longer than a vacation, a class, or a spa day? Do we have to escape our lives to find solace, comfort, bliss and contentment? Or can we create it and give ourselves to the goodness that is present all around us in every moment? If we just… slow… down.

Have you given thought to the fact that we are more efficient and make less mistakes when we step back, make a plan and then go forward with clear intention at a pace of our own choosing?

When we are joyful, the world is a better place. When we are confident in ourselves and our ability to react consciously to whatever comes our way, we stop fearing the unknown future and can be more present in what is happening now. When we breathe with awareness, our body gets what it needs to stay stable, balanced, and calm so we can live healthy long lives.

If you’re interested in exploring a practice that can set you up for success in planning and adopting a lifestyle to support your joy, sense of freedom, and ease in your daily experience. I developed something called the True Wisdom Method. I presented this method at the Women’s Evolution Retreat earlier this month with wonderful feedback about the thoughtfulness it brings. This is your life and you get to say how it goes. Are you ready to claim it?