Recovery and Resilience

I believe we are all recovering from something these days.

From our childhood traumas, from illness, from the pandemic or the loss of loved ones, divorce, moving to a new home, passed down ancestral traumas, a career or job change, and so on.

And if not recovering, one may be still in the midst of difficulties. 

I see these all as opportunities to discover how resilient we are!

Otherwise, resist it all and collapse into overwhelm.

Building resilience requires us to feel into our humanity and the strength therein.

It’s stepping one foot in front of the other, moving towards the unknown future, willingly.

I’ve chosen to focus on resilience in my coaching practice particularly because I’ve always been curious about the naïveté and softness that comes with inexperience and the absence of challenges for some in contrast to the coping strategies and aggressive ticks of others.

Neither is ideal, yet both are a product of the past driven by some way we think things should be.

When our circumstances stray from our expectations, we lose our shit, blame others, run away, lash out and shut down. 

We each have varying levels of ability to “handle things”, but pushing through as if unaffected is not necessarily ideal.

Fortunately, we are at a time when we can step back and take a moment to process things, if we choose to.

We’ve never had as much leisure time, resources, and safety to allow us to do so.

Whether perceived or not, there are daily opportunities all around us. That is what I coach people on. 

I coach clients to push through barriers just enough to feel that uncomfortable edge, and then to back off to process and integrate by caring for themselves and creating a safe and supported space to “do the work”;o feel the feels, to be gentle and compassionate with themselves and others.

This is not a quick flip-of-the-switch journey. Things have taken a lifetime to come to the state they’re in, so unwinding, retraining, and creating new neural pathways and perceptions also takes time. 

I personally love this work. I lean in to change more than most. I have an understanding that on the other side of the painful, dark feelings there is an extraordinary light like that at the end of a tunnel. Like flowers in the spring or arriving at an inspiring vista. It takes the breath away and helps us to remember the miracle of it all.

We don’t always have access to these phenomenal elements, so we have to consciously choose to lean in. Because life can feel mundane. And when it does, everything seems to come AT you especially if you don’t move towards IT.

Check in with your intentions. Re-assess areas of your life where you may be out of integrity. These are places where you get triggered because love is not present. In its place there’s only anger and resentment. These are the places to go. Follow the fear, find a guide and come to a resolution. I call this ‘closing the circuit’ so you can have more access to your own power and energy since it’s once again FLOWING instead of being caught up in all of those thoughts and obsessions. It’s life-draining to stay there.

So are you ready to choose something else? To heal, to forgive, for your own self preservation?

I believe this is part of our evolution. I know many on this journey who offer modalities and deep, playful ways to move through it. It doesn’t have to be hard.

It’s kind of like procrastinating on something. The resistance and reasons for avoiding the thing often takes more out of you than just doing it.

It doesn’t have to be a big thing. It could be a small thing. It could be a way you’ve been being or think you just are, and trying another way of being for a change. Just to try it out and see what results you get.