Aligning With My Intuition

When I decided to birth my kids at home it had been a decision made in alignment with everything else I was immersing myself in.

I was educating myself on the many uses of herbs for medicine, taking women’s studies courses at the local community college and was a few years into practicing yoga regularly. Moving into my first trimester, I was determined to have my experience be a healthy and empowering one.

We researched and went to talks where we could ask questions of the local midwives, concluding that birthing at home felt the most comfortable and logical.

Sharing the plan was met with a variety of responses. My partner’s mom declared that it made complete sense as she and all of her siblings had all been born on a desolate farm miles away from a hospital so travel would’ve made it much more difficult. Others were concerned for the safety of myself and my unborn child as their own familiarity was with hospital labor and delivery. The more I read about standard interventions with laboring in hospitals the more confident I felt that birthing at home was the right decision for me.

Everything went well as I labored through the night and birthed my daughter in the late morning hours without tearing, anesthetics and the ability to move about freely in the comfort of my own home. I was calm, relaxed and felt completely taken care of with my mom, partner, midwife and her two assistants there to tend to me and my new born baby. I slept, nursed and had found a doctor to come to the house for her first check up a couple of days later. It wasn’t until a week or two after that we had anyone else enter and visit as we’d made it a priority to maintain the sacred birth bubble as long as possible.

2 years later I birthed my son at home. It was more difficult as he was just over 1 lb. more than my daughter had been. I was fortunate to have the same midwife. My daughter at age two was present and at my request had been woken up to see her baby brother be born. Her auntie held her as she observed carefully in her sleepy state, staying alert thereafter to greet and hold him once he entered the world.

Making decisions aligned with my intuition has given me more self advocacy throughout my life. The confidence I’ve gained in keeping prescription and over the counter drugs to a minimum and finding herbal and integrative remedies before being quick to take antibiotics or drastic measures to “solve” a health issue has brought me to a deeper relationship with myself, my own needs and natural cycles. I’m ok being uncomfortable and feeling a little out of control until a holistic solution can be found. Don’t get me wrong, I believe western medicine and its miraculous ways have a unique place in its life saving capacity. Discernment is essential in all matters. Research, reflection and taking time to feel into the details has been my best measure for what to do and when. 

I’m still working on building trust with myself in many facets of my life. Turning 50 this year I feel more settled than ever before. There’s plenty more to learn and grow from ahead and I look forward to finding more grace and ease with it all.